How to find your tribe

Being a woman adventurer requires a special kind of tenacity. My experience is that it takes years to find your tribe. These are a special group of peeps who can cover your ass in every possible eventuality when you find yourself up a creek, lost on a mountain or just laughing your head off on a beach having not brought a swim costume.

Here are the top seven personalities you find on an adventure. I bet you can recognise all your mates in this list, and if you don’t you need to fill that void.

#The Matriarch

This is the friend who you call when you are probably struggling with some life decisions. You know they have some great but gentle advice to help you sift through the rubble. You go on a walk, make sure there are regular pit stops, and accept that you are going to get some tough love but by the end you have put the world to rights.

#The philosopher

This is probably someone you have known for a VERY long time. They have an uncanny ability to turn their hand to everything and probably have multiple qualifications in everything known to humanity. You know that even when you are talking verbal diarrhoea, they will gently find a way to find zen and wisdom in the random rantings of a camping night. Nothing is bad, only good, as {add quote here} said. You bloody love their company.

#Partner in crime

AKA the one who always gets you in trouble. I distinctly remember calling said friend out of the blue saying “I am on my way to yours. I have a bottle of wine.” She took a long hard drag of her cigarette and replied “Bring two.” I remember one time waking up in a house I had no recollection of ever entering. Another time with one of my “partners” we broke into a party in central Paris, and broke out with hand fulls of Mangos from a kitchen window in the basement. There is a picture of her on a red vintage moped which neither of us have any idea why. We were tailed by men on that trip, but told them we had no time to mess about, we had an important photo shoot tomorrow!

#The dare devil

Oh the fun we’ve had! Sometimes I make sure there is someone else about just to make sure we don’t end up in A&E. My best story involves a fated trip to one of the best surfing beaches in Europe. I am not a very experience surfer. My friend is. She briefed me on the correct entry, explained how to ride the waves, and warned me of the hazards of this reef surf. In panic, I did none of the above, and appeared an hour later with both legs dripping in blood. One time we completed a 10k obstacle race. Another time an off road triathlon. I should probably be dead. Cheers for the good times!!

#The witchy one

You probably have a friend who grew up in the country and has an amazing amount of lost knowledge. This friend decorates my hair with wild flowers, pulls leaves out of waterfalls for me to eat and has a herbal remedy for every ailment. I have friends who are qualified doctors, but it is this friend I call when the kids are ill. She has a sixth sense.

#The starry eyed wanderer

This is probably someone you met while out on an adventure. She has probably lived in multiple countries, had multiple professions and has an incredibly calm nature. Nothing phases this friend. A favourite story of my Dad’s is him meeting up with his. They were on a beach. His friend had no phone, but he is pretty sure they go to this small festival every year, so he turns up in hope. One time, she had a disagreement with her partner, so she said “That’s it! I’m off. ” and waded out into the sea, fully clothed. She just stayed there until finally he roamed off having felt a little stupid.

#The eternal child

This one can be the most dangerous. For mine, we have till this day made sure that we have never been drunk at the same time. We just don’t trust ourselves. We have NO inhibitions. And that is while we are sober. We are loud, gregarious, hedonistic, spontaneous, and totally lack remorse. We love life. We love people. We love to laugh. You go out with this type of friend for a pint of milk and wake up in Mexico.

So forget the seven people you meet in heaven. It’s too late then. Make sure the seven people you share your piece of heaven with are worth the time spent. Here’s to the tribes! May yours be forever full of fun, laughter and magic.

Finding Nirvana

Feeling inspired to get out for door step adventures in spring is not too challenging. Doing this in the deep winter is another story.

Back in January, we had a few snowy days. This is really quite unusual in the UK. We tend to get endless grey days and drizzle that sticks to your face and gets you down. The snow came in suddenly and no one quite believed it. The children woke up opened the curtains and literally screamed. They danced around the room like loons. They wanted to run around outside before even having breakfast. If only there were more times in adult life we could get this excited about something!

Frozen paddling pool

The children all went bonkers in the local park while their parents tended to stand around complaining about being cold and coffee shops being shut. The next day, I decided to try to change my mindset about it.

Micro adventures are about treating each day, as much as possible, like you are exploring some new and thrilling holiday destination. So Adventure #8: Drive north till you find something interesting. I took just my older son in our van and we found ourselves randomly choosing country lanes purely on the basis of just looking interesting. This was strangely liberating. Since the onslaught of sat nav how often do you set out in the car with no specific destination? I could remember doing this a lot as a student, but not in recent years. Eventually we came to Tortworth forest and arboretum. I had never even heard of it.

My son moaned and told me he was tired but I kept him carrying on but pointing things out in the snow you would never normally see. He was fascinated. We saw mole, hare and fox tracks in the snow. Teddy had never even heard of hares before.

A secret fishing lake

The thing we found quite striking was the silence. People were avoiding driving because of the weather conditions and wildlife was tucked away from the cold. It was totally still.

In total contrast, our next adventure #9 was to drink fake champagne on the Eurostar followed by #10 spend sunset at the Sacre Coeur. Paris was really busy and the weather was incredibly warm and mild. People were everywhere and the atmosphere was euphoric. Our children had not really been on a train since they were really tiny and none of us had been on a train under the sea before. It was totally thrilling. I felt like I was in a Bond film. And although we are not a religious family, the sight we saw at the top of the steep climb to the top totally took my breath away. You could see why this location was chosen for such an iconic place of worship. It was Nirvana .