When you put everything else first, and then wake up from a coma.
Here’s the thing…no one notices if you put the rubbish out. You could have been the only person dusting your house for 18 years, literally, it must have cleaned itself. This week I picked the boys up from school, and took them to do the weekly shop. I don’t do this normally because it would be “boring” for them. I am going to make a controversial statement, women find that shit boring too.
That very same evening, my husband opens the fridge. It is full to bursting. We have two dry food drawers, equally rammed. He stared into it and said “You spent all this money and we still have no food.” Patiently I said “what is it you are looking for?” A deep and long sigh ensued. “Nothing. I don’t know.” He said. I felt three feelings: guilt, remorse and anger.
The same philosophy can be applied to “me time.” Which for me is not getting my nails or hair done. I hate shopping. It is just going off for a walk or a bike ride or something. I feel guilt, remorse and anger. I was never going to be the girl who was given diamonds and champagne. But perhaps this was not because there was a “type” of girl, just that some don’t get dogged down with guilt.
Adventure has been sparing in the last two weeks. I took a couple of hours to take the small one bouldering last week. I saw this poster. I have been preached to by a couple of men in my life recently on the topic of equality recently, who think that the very idea of women only sport events is, in itself, sexist. And that they “don’t believe in it.” What is it you want? They cry. “Nothing. I don’t know.” I reply, gazing into the full middle class, white, male fridge.
I do a lot of outdoor stuff and have done for 20 years. When I saw one, black lady doing the triathlon, I nearly did a merry dance. Because, if you go and do stuff with your brethren all day blooming long, you will never get how absolutely euphoric it is, to not be on your own all the time. No one wants to be the weird one.
This week I also watched women’s football with the older son. Football is an obsession shared with his father. We watched half of England play. “Mimi.” He said. ‘I think women are much better than men at football.” I nearly died. “What do you mean?” Says I. “They have great skills.” Says son.
Dear reader, I think we have all been put in a corner at some point in our lives and that is why ‘dirty dancing’ speaks to us. Hear is an amazing revelation….the corner does not even exist. Let’s bust all those bubbles.